The Fearful Spectator

If I can escape from these nightmares
I would find a dream that does not shower frightful
 Images of those that I have once loved
But nightly I have become imprisoned within
A cage of my own suffering
And persecuted for my once ill matured heart
Yet, these things are set in wedlock to my past
So, why do I convey
A symphony of sorrows while I sleep
Tell me
What deity finds amusement in my misgiven grief?  
Also, do they that laugh, not know of my repentance?
And the atonement that I offer
Or maybe it’s just a joke to those that are deemed immortal
Nevertheless, the mischief of the other world
Is growing quite bothersome
However, I at times too
Find myself amused in my own fated misfortunes
Maybe the gods with an over casted sense of humor
Wants me to find the joy that I once had
A joy that has been buried by the oppressed ideas that I have shamed
Shameful I know it is
And a sad symphony that is played by my tears is
The lullaby that strings me to a devilish place
Where my agony is the composer

Leaving me as the fearful nocturnal spectator
~ Tony Paradise’s Poet ~